it's that time again. the changing of the Gregorian guard is upon us. and as with most new eras in life, this is when we like to reflect on our progress thus far and set new goals for making the next chapter bigger ~ better ~ stronger ~ faster ~ richer ~ healthier ~ happier ~ more meaningful+loving+unique+on track+understanding+selfless ~ blessed-er ~ funner ~ filled with more good memories but fewer bad ones+great stories and destiny altering encounters...but the reality we've all come to know is that that determination to pulverize the old and masterfully construct the new will only last for a month...at best...if we manage to make it through the week.
if the last couple years of worrying, planning, and less than perfect attempts have taught me anything, it's that getting my hopes up inefficiently (i.e. unnecessarily) is fruitless and futile. dont try it at home.
but a friend asked me this week what my resolutions and goals were for this year. though i usually would have shrugged the inquiry off with some ordinary or unexciting retort -- like losing weight and getting in shape(!!) with no tangible plans to exercise or change my diet; like waking up on time every day(!!!) when sleep is my most valued superhuman ability and dspd is actually a very real thing lol -- this is what came to mind as i read this friend's message:
in response i got a list of smart goals this friend made. ones that were simple but beneficial. self advancing but realistic. ones that were probably a continuation or adjusted version of the goals made the year before...it made me think. how do we get into this cycle of goals with no real end in sight? things that can be done with a bit of focus but that we spread out over decades until we just don't think about them anymore...or simply run out of steam
i've come to similar conundrums often and my first step to answering myself is always to investigate the definition and etymology of the words | phrases | traditions in question.
two things came to mind when i thought of a 'resolution'
the first was the Resolute Desks
the HMS Resolute was a ship commissioned by the British Navy in 1850 to go on a search through the Arctic for Sir John Franklin, an explorer and renowned Englishman believed to have gone missing a few years before. Franklin's journey began in 1800 when, at 14, he 'came to a definite decision about' being in the Royal Navy and ended with his trip to complete his charting of the North West Passage in 1845. the HMS Resolute was lost to the Arctic ice caps and abandoned by its crew. once found a few years later, the ship spent another 23 years on expeditions for the Queen before it was dispersed into several chunks and redesigned as desks and other trinkets that were sent as thank you gifts to friends of the crown and stand as symbols of their alliance to date.
the second was the meaning of the word so i looked up the definitions of resolve and resolute
the first few bullet points were expected…resolute/to resolve is to state a firm stance on/make a decision concerning/firmly determine/etc
but the second set of definitions really caught my attention...
...to dissolve into?
how is it that the things we set ourselves on course to accomplish can also break us into pieces??
i then looked over the history of the resolute desks again.
Franklin's purpose went far beyond his first directive, his first resolve to be a member of the Royal Navy. the mission that Franklin was destined for was not complete until first he was lost and then the ship that came to rescue him was completely resolved into pieces and distributed around the globe.
wow.
my yearly resolves are only complete when i am dissolved. my purpose is compete when i learn to get my 'self', as i know me, out of the picture. i can only reach my destin(y)ation when my mission is used for more than just myself; spread further than just as far as i can see right now. my yearly resolves are only really worth it when they are bigger than me.
"Sometimes the greatest change in our lives starts by doing something just as simple as recognizing that you canNOT do this thing called life on your own without losing your mind...eventually YOUR strength, YOUR understanding, YOUR motivation, YOUR soul will grow weak and weary - I PROMISE...no matter how hard I try, me alone is never enough. I'm learning every day how to humble myself and ask God to help me with the major and minor details of my life. You can pretend like you have it together if you want to, but I'll be the first one to say that I desire and need to do and be better… and after trying to Olivia Pope my entire life, my black self has come to realize that my life changes for the better significantly when I acknowledge I that I can't do it on my own."
which, in a way, almost makes sense. the etymology of 'resolve' comes from latin word resolvere, to re-solve.
solve-repeat-solve-repeat-solve-repeat-solve-repeat-solve-repeat
solve-repeat-solve-repete-solve-repeat-solve-repeat
solve-repeat-solve-repeat-solve-repeat
solve-repeat-solve-repeat
solve-repeat…
just like with any question in math, to reach a solution, you must split the problem into the appropriate components and evaluate. first you take a look at each part individually, then assess their connection to each other and to the problem as a whole in order to 'solve'.
…solution.
now i must ask myself, what benefit will this resolution have for the rest of the world? what problem am i helping to solve? what affect/effect/influence will this "A Better Me Wish List" have on the 25 year-olds that cross this same path in ten or fifty or two-hundred years? how does this goal help me fulfill the purpose God has charged me with? if this is the final goal i wish to reach, what smaller steps should i take first to make sure i complete this meaningful, world altering, life changing mega new year's resolve as effectively as possible? and finally, why is this resolution so important to me and how am i 'in the way'?
i think need to do a bit of tweaking to my original resolve list now. and tomorrow. and the next day. and i resolve to solve-repeat-solve-repeat everyday until i've worked myself out of the equation and reached a final (re)solution.
what about YOU??!
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